


Immortal

by november_nights



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Forgive Me, M/M, Very Sadness, and dying, angsty but also a bit philosophical in later chapters, im sorry, lots of death, much angst, the main focus is shizaya
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 06:35:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7033813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/november_nights/pseuds/november_nights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It could've been called the happiest day of Izaya's life, the day he and Shizuo finally realized their feelings. It really could've been. But, alas, it seemed no happiness could ever last for so long. Some merely ended earlier than others.<br/>It really is crazy, how quickly the best day of one's life can turn into the worst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Immortal

It’s crazy how the best day of one’s life can turn into the worst in a matter of seconds. One minute is peaceful, joyful, perfect. The next, everything is gone. And it could’ve been a couple seconds or a million years, no difference would be made in the horrible feeling of it. It feels like the sun disappearing from what once was a lovely day. You don’t really know how it happens so quickly, but it did, and despite your agonizing wishes, you know deep down that there is nothing you can do about it.  
It’s been one year since Shizuo Heiwajima died. One year exactly. Four thirty-seven AM on June the twelfth. Most people wouldn’t be out to visit until later, no one would get up at four in the morning. Other than Izaya Orihara, that is.  
Izaya held his breath, knowing he’d begin to cry otherwise. He had long destroyed the bouquet of flowers in his hands, holding them so tightly with the nervousness of someone headed to their execution. It didn’t really matter, though. He doubted Shizu-chan would’ve enjoyed them anyway. He didn’t seem like one for white roses.  
His grip tightening on the poor plants, Izaya knelt on the cold, damp ground in front of the stone that marked the resting place of his once nemesis, friend, and lover.  
“Hello, Shizu-chan…” Izaya whispered, his voice shaking with the tears he knew would soon come. “It’s been a while… One year, exactly. I’m sorry I haven’t come before now, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I… I brought you flowers… Sorry, they’re kind of crushed… You don’t care, though, right? You weren’t really one for flowers…” Tears stung his eyes. Even now, it was hard to accept the fact that it was real. That Shizu-chan wasn’t there anymore.  
“Do you remember the old days, Shizu-chan? When we used to chase each other through the streets? Those were some good times, weren’t they? I… I miss those times. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t left my apartment and expected to see you outside. I can’t look at a vending machine without thinking of you throwing it at me. I could mistake every bartender I see for you, even if they don’t resemble you in the slightest. You’ve taken over my life, Shizu-chan.” Izaya forced at light laugh, despite the tears that were now running down his face. “And also… Not a second has gone by that I have stopped loving you.” It was hard to say that last part, to admit how much he loved his Shizu-chan. But he did. He loved him like he never loved anyone before, even if it was only a short amount of time they got to be together. Izaya was never going to love another person the same way he loved Shizu-chan. Sure, he still loved humans, but it was different. He loved humanity, he didn’t love humans romantically. If a human were to fall in love with him, he likely wouldn’t return their feelings.  
And if a human were to die, it would never make him feel the same way as this did.  
Izaya tried to make himself say more, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t fight it anymore, the pain and loss was overwhelming. He made no attempt to hide it as he wept, no one would be out to see him, anyway.  
As he looked down at the grass that covered the place where Shizuo lay, Izaya couldn’t help but think about how crazy it was, that one year ago today had started out as the best day of his life. But all so quickly, it had become the worst.

**Author's Note:**

> I must explain something important at this point, something of which may come as a disappointment, if you enjoyed this chapter. Unfortunately, I have had horrid writer's block on this fanfic for almost seven months, and it is unlikely that there will be a new chapter very quickly. Nonetheless, do not lose hope and please do not walk away too quickly, for I sincerely promise that I will eventually come back to this. This is fanfiction is very meaningful to me, strange as it may seem. I will not abandon it. In fact, I will say now that I will have a new chapter before Christmas, at least. I guarantee this.
> 
> Update: Thank you for all of the hits and kudos, I never thought this would happen overnight. Because of this encouragement, I've actually been motivated to work on the second chapter. It has nearly three hundred words at the moment, so it is possible I will be able to complete it in the near future.


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